For all the married and singles:

Written by Coach Joshua

Last Saturday I discussed with us the topic “CAN I MARRY A SINGLE PARENT?” While the post generated many thousands of commendation, however, some people wanted me to talk also about the fate of the divorced and now single parents.

With regards to marriage, the Bible is clear: marriage is for a LIFETIME as intended by God from the beginning (see Matthew 19: 1-10). Since that is how serious it is, God doesn’t want people to rush into marriage anyhow or enter it under duress, pressure, threats, coercion, intimidations or mistakes. It must be something one should do after a personal desire, thorough reflection, well-informed choice and decision. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case most times for many people in some parts of the world and most parts of Africa.

Even though parents are to give their consent and blessings in a marriage, however, the decision about and the choice of a life partner should be the sole prerogative of the concerned individual.

Marriage has a spiritual undertone. Whether we have realised it or not, god is “involved” in it because marriage is a major tool to drive his agenda of replenishing the earth (see Genesis 1:26-28).

So when people marry (whether traditionally, through registry or in a church) that exchange of conjugal vows or marital vows isn’t only witnessed and sealed on earth but in heaven as well. In fact, the divine part of it all is so airtight that even when people dissolve their marriage on earth through divorce, as far as God is concerned, the two estranged spouses are still married in His sight even though they may have moved on. That’s very serious!

In addition, many so-called marriages are not marriages at all. Now let me tell you the gospel truth that many people are afraid to say:

1. Forced marriage is not marriage.

2. Marriage under threats, coercion or intimidation is not marriage.

3. Arranged underage or child marriage is not marriage.

4. If you and your love partner are living as a couple already with children without having performed marriage rites. You’re not married yet.

If you wish to opt out of that relationship please feel free; you’re not breaking God’s word on marriage at all because you were never married in the first place. That’s the bitter truth!

Now the burning question is:

Can a divorcee remarry?

The answer is CAPITAL NO!

With the exception of the cases mentioned above, no truly married person can and should remarry after a divorce. The Bible says in Matthew 19:1-9, Romans 7: 1-4, etc, that any divorcee who remarries commits adultery because the bond of marriage can only be broken through death. Therefore divorcees should remain unmarried except the other estranged spouse is dead.

Although divorce may seemingly end a marital dilemma between two estranged spouses, however, it’s not God’s will for his children. God wants his children happily married and that for their lifetime. However, to achieve that as a reality, intending couples should seek God’s will for a life partner in prayers, should be watchful about relationship red flags, and must ask salient questions.

Divorce is never a good or easy path for the divorcees themselves. It imparts negatively on their emotions, their children, their families and friends. Most importantly, it grieves so much God. Friends, whenever divorce happens, God is let down. Like with every other human imperfection, God is disappointed at us.

Now, to all the divorcées worldwide: my sympathy, love and prayers go out to you. I know how terrible you feel being divorced because no one marries to get divorced at some point in time in their lives. Please understand that divorce is not the worse sin in this world.

Divorce is not worse than fornication, adultery, murder, stealing, robbery, sorcery, witchcraft, prostitution (sin is sin no matter its form or shades), etc. Therefore don’t kill yourself because you had a divorce or because of what people are saying or thinking about you (if you have asked God for forgiveness about it, please be at peace with yourself). By the way, many spouses who are not divorced yet are WORSE than many divorced persons.

Therefore, let’s stop demonizing them. They’re God’s children also. God has not abandoned or dumped them. God doesn’t love them any less than he loves us who aren’t divorced. The divorcées deserve our love, care, support, sympathy, prayers and not stigmatization and condemnation.

Many thanks for reading, commenting, liking and sharing.

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