An advice to the women.
By Coach Joshua
Over the years I have heard some women say they won’t marry because marriage takes away their individual freedom and independence. Some said they’re not ready and won’t be under one man calling himself a husband. Well, I like their honesty. However, marriage is not for people like them.
Dear women, if you can’t be under a man, please don’t marry at all. According to the Bible, marriage puts you under the leadership of a husband no matter who you’re in life. The husband is the head, period!.
A lot of women have serious issues with submitting to their husbands and when you ask them they would say that their husband is controlling them. Why won’t he control you? Is he not your head, your boss?
A lot of marriages are not working because some wives are strong headed, domineering, bossy and proud. How can a marriage work when there are two captains in the ship? Never!
Some marriages are like war zones. And it’s unfortunate. Dear ladies, forget about these “emancipationism” and feminism ideologies. Marriage only works when the two spouses operate within the ambit of the divine laws regarding marriage.
While I am aware that some husbands are monsters, immature, over-protective and overly possessive, I can tell you also that many wives, no matter how very loving, caring and romantic their husbands are, they’ve vowed never to submit to their husbands.
Dear ladies, here is the bitter truth you don’t want to hear: marriage takes away most, if not all, of your independence. You can’t be married and be living as if you’re not married. When you become married you come under the spiritual, emotional, sexual, mental leadership of a husband. When you’re married, there certain things you could do as a single that you won’t be able to do again except if your husband permits them (and if he doesn’t permit them, please leave them that way, OK?) For instance, you can’t be married and be hanging out with friends at odd hours. You can’t be married and say you won’t cook and serve your husband meal. You can’t be married and won’t attend your husband’s church. You can’t be married and say you won’t have babies almost immediately for him (except if both of you have agreed on that before your wedding). You can’t be married and every now and then you’re spending your weekend at your parents house without his consent. You can’t be married and not put into consideration your family when planning your career. The list goes on and on. Please what is control here?
Honestly, some wives learn the hard way. I know of a marriage where the husband always complained about his wife going to Lagos Island to get a few things late and will return home very, very late because she was stuck in a heavy traffic jam on third Mainland Bridge. That couple lives in Alagbado and each time the wife wanted to go to Lagos island, the husband will tell her that since she is not working and that they are yet to have babies, she should leave for the place on time so that she can return home on time. She never liked him telling her when to go out. So each time she wanted to go to Lagos island she will leave home around 3.pm knowing that she will need time to do what she went there for. Whenever she returned home it was past 10.pm and sometimes 11.pm. Whenever her husband complained, she told him that he was controlling her too much and that she was not in a bondage being married to him. That always heated up the atmosphere in their home. One day she returned home, and this time around, it was almost midnight (it was very very late in that vicinity as 97 percent of the residents would have gone to bed by then). As usual, she called her husband to come open the gate for her but he was unreachable as his phone was switched off. Having waited outside for 30 minutes without help in that thick darkness, she decided to inconvenience another couple who had already gone to bed to come out to open the gate for her. When she got inside her house she was enraged at her husband, asking him why he slept while she was still outside. The husband told her that she has seen nothing yet. That sent her a strong message. That was how she changed.
Dear ladies, being under the control of a husband is not bondage, but leadership. A wife who allows her husband to lead her marriage will have peace of mind. There can’t be peace where a wife breaks God’s word by her behaviours. Submission in marriage is not optional; it’s a MUST. Stop “dragging” issues with your husband just to frustrate him. Stop being very difficult. Stop feminism in your marriage (that’s not the right place for its advocacy). Stop heating up the atmosphere in your marriage. Even if you bring more financially at home, your husband is still the Head of that home. Please be the wife and let him the husband. What makes a husband the head or the boss in a marriage has nothing to do with how much he brings home or earns. It’s a divine selection. Ladies, submission pays really big, please submit to your husbands fully.
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